I woke up at 2 am with my mind racing, all the different scenarios that haven’t happened but that could happen and how they make me feel. I realize that each of these things may as well have happened because I am feeling them as if they did.
I squirt some nasal decongestant into my nose and hope for some air to start reaching my lungs. I have been nursing this head cold that keeps coming back. I click on the tv and I am greeted by the “are you still watching” page from Netflix, I press continue and Frasier pops up on my screen, immediately cheering me up.
I don’t know why now, after all these years I have come to appreciate this show and its clever writing. It is comforting to have the Crane brothers there to make me laugh. Eventually I fall asleep.
Waking up again at a more reasonable time I started to think about what I was going to do for myself today being that I am sick and feeling moody. Then I remembered something that always cheers me up, a nice cup of tea. Growing up whenever I was having an upset my dad would make me a cup of tea. Or my mom and I would sit on the back porch having tea together. Not matter what in the morning we always had tea. For the brief period of time that I lived with my father after my mom died, he would bring me tea with 2 vitamins in the morning to wake me up. I think this was his way of showing that he wanted me to be well after going through something difficult. He always gave it to me in a Barbie mug, He says I am his Barbie doll.
The comforting flavor of a proper cup of tea, gives me so much relief, there is never a bad time for a tea. As I sit down with my tea and my lap top to write this post, I flip on the tv and there the Crane brothers are to greet me again. A perfect morning to set myself up for the day.
Today I will tackle to day from a place of calm and serenity. Today I will treat myself to some flowers for my living room. Today I will give myself enough rest to feel better, and I will treat myself kindly by eating healthy food.
My years of anxiety left me with a few tricks I use now when I am feeling anxious. One being that I stand still and look around me and notice five things that are there, that brings me back to be present to where I am and what is actually happening. There is no point in me spending the day stressing about scenarios that are probably never going to happen rather I can notice five things about my day that are happening. Today I am simply a person living in the city of LA, meeting about a new idea I am working on, dedicating time to my writing, doing my laundry, and taking it easy on myself. Being present to the day that is unfolding ahead of me.